Ragna=the=Bloodedge (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rebellions) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
punorama2017-07-26 01:30 pm
rebellions) wrote in punorama2017-07-26 01:30 pm
Mitsunari in the fast food-land
[After all this time of traveling between worlds that seem to have been stuck in Middle Ages, Ragna was beginning to suspect advanced technology was nothing more than a product of his imagination and/or fever dream he'd had at some point in his life. Sure, he'd never relied too much on crap like computers and smartphones and whatnot, but the rest of the world depended heavily on Ars Magus stuff, and even Sector Seven (which shunned Ars Magus usage) used electric technology far more developed than any place they have come across during their travels. What are the odds of his world being literally the only one out there that has managed to figure that shit out?
Finally, Ragna is proved wrong when the crew of the Katabami find themselves in a world far different from the ones they've visited so far. It's not quite the same as what Ragna is used to from his own world, but the busy streets of a city constantly illuminated by lights, shops and traffic feels at least somewhat familiar. Enough not to get lost or overwhelmed, at least. In fact, it's kinda fun not to feel like he's traveled back in time a few centuries for once. Maybe he can get some nice food he hasn't had for while? Or watch TV on the screens in the market. You know, appreciate the things that used to be so obvious he kind of didn't pay them any attention back then.
However, not all of them are used to this sort of environment, so whether he likes it or not, Ragna is now stuck on babysitting duty. Frankly, he's not too worried about Mitsunari ─ rather, he's worried about the unfortunate souls who happen to run into him and invoke his wrath by asking him to take a picture of them at the local landmark or something like that. So here he is, apparently resigning himself to damage control whatever goes wrong here ─ and let's be real, something definitely will.]
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Though if it's true that they're just going to get gross that quickly, there's no point in bothering. How irritating.
--Wait, what did Ragna just say?
Mitsunari stares at him. ]
...What do you ask for in return for this generosity?
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Are you stupid? It's just some dumb potato. It's not like I'm saving your life with that or some shit.
[More like he's ruining Mitsunari's previous diet. And, let's be real, he probably wouldn't ask for anything in return even if he was saving him. Has he ever?]
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[ He sounds sarcastic. People offer to do things because they expect compensation. That's how the world works.
But actually... Ragna's not really the kind of person who would demand something in return. Maybe he's offering because it's really just not an imposition on him in any way and that's what... friends... do.
Stupid, confusing Ragna. Why does he never act in a way Mitsunari can anticipate? ]
...If you really want nothing in return, then yes. Make some for me. I... would not be unappreciative.
[ That last sentence all but kills him to say. Tsun tsun Mitsun. ]
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[Mitsunari's noble effort to express gratitude without actually showing it goes unappreciated because. Seriously. What does that even mean?? He'll have to use smaller words if he wants Ragna to understand, otherwise he's just gonna assume he's insulting him.
Just like he is with that "kindness of his heart" bullshit. It's not that, obviously; Ragna only does what he wants or feels like doing, duh. Which, as much as he hates to admit it, usually involves doing things for people he... cares about...
Fuck.]
Just say "thanks" or something, dumbass.
[The Grim Reaper huffs angrily and, in order to drive his point home
he steals another fry.]
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[ He would have left it that and then maybe found it within himself to force out the words "thank you" anyway if Ragna hadn't stolen another goddamn fry.
That it's "only" a single French fry is irrelevant! It is the principle of the matter! ]
I said ask for my permission, you thieving animal!
[ Damn it. How can he properly avenge this theft? Steal something back? No, he won't stoop to Ragna's level. Throw the fries away so no one can have them? ...No, he's not done with them yet.
He's not sure. How do you avenge yourself without resorting to violence? Why is this so hard?! ]
Somehow... somehow I will find a way to instill a sense of shame in you!
[ He slams his fist down on the table, but it's obvious he's not sure how he's going to accomplish this task. ]
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[Ragna doesn't even try to keep the smug look from showing on his face. Still, he does find it pretty impressive Mitsunari has yet to draw weapons over this ─ stealing fries is one thing, but Ragna is blatantly disrespecting him and his principles (which he's perfectly aware of, he just doesn't care). If nothing else, he can show some maturity himself by stopping the terrible thievery for the time being. It's not like he's trying to push him over the edge here, after all.]
C'mon, hurry it up. Or just grab 'em to eat while we walk, we're not gonna sit here all day.
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He's almost tempted to sit here all damn day to spite Ragna, but Ragna would probably leave and Mitsunari does kind of want to see the rest of the city.
He stands up, container of fries in hand. ]
I do not operate on your schedule, but I tire of this place all the same.
[ He heads for the exit, not bothering to wait on Ragna, of course. He hopes the door slams in his face, in fact. ]
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The Grim Reaper chuckles to himself lightly as he throws the remains of his meal to the bin, and is in a good enough mood that he doesn't complain when the door does, in fact, very nearly slam him in the face (though it does manage to wipe the smile off his face for most part).]
Well? What do you wanna do next?
[He asks, as if Mitsunari has any way of knowing what can be done in a city like this.]
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Mitsunari, in any case, gives Ragna a look that says "are you an idiot?". ]
How do you expect me to have any destination in mind? These sorry excuses for architecture could serve any number of purposes.
[ But then he gets an idea. ]
...Where do I obtain a horseless carriage?
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You ain't getting one.
[He scowls. It's hard being a responsible adult, but he gets a feeling that if he doesn't persuade Mitsunari to abandon whatever he's planning it'll be a real pain in the ass later on.]
First, they're hella expensive. [He assumes, since those things usually cost an arm and a leg. Though to be fair, they could probably easily afford one with the amount of treasure they've accumulated over the years, which brings him to the next point.] Second, it's pointless on a ship. And third, you'd find some way to turn it into some kinda death machine. Hell, you'd probably have Motochika attach saws and flamethrowers to it or some shit.
[You can't convince him this isn't what Mitsunari is going after here. But Ragna isn't a monster and doesn't mean to deny him the joys of advanced technology, so he's willing to propose a solution that should satisfy both of them.]
... but if you promise you'll be a good boy we can do some window shopping.
[Look, this is the most he can trust him with.]
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You should considering yourself deeply fortunate that I do not intend to raise my blade to you, because I have no tolerance for blatant condescension.
[ Pause. ]
And I do not want windows, I want a horseless carriage. Are you daft or attempting to rile me further? I genuinely cannot tell.
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That's not what window shopping means─ Argh, forget it.
[Explaining it would take too long and Ragna is anything but a patient person. Better just show him what it means instead.]
C'mon, let's find you some of those... horseless carriages.
[Looks like that's what we're calling them now. Okay then. Ragna waves his hand for Mitsunari to follow him and begins strolling down the street. With any luck, they should come across an appropriate store sooner or later...]
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He doesn't know what sort of store they need to visit. After all, he doesn't even know what the "horseless carriages" are actually called. Looking at the cars passing by on the street, he can see that they're emblazoned with emblems that say things like "NISSAN" and "CHRYSLER". Are those... the names of the people who created the vehicles? That makes sense. The name for the vehicle in general wouldn't just be written on its side. Horses don't have signs saying "this is a horse" around their necks.
As luck would have it, they don't have to walk long before they pass by So-And-So's Car Dealership. It would have been better if they'd stumbled upon a car rental service -- Mitsunari really does not need to own a car -- but this is how fate would have it. Mitsunari doesn't look excited, because he never does, but he's definitely interested in all the cars for sale. ]
So the horseless carriages are called "cars".
[ Mitsunari is satisfied with this new knowledge. It's faster to say. ]
Ragna! Let's go. I am getting myself the fastest and sleekest "car" available.
[ If it's spiky, that's good too. ]
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Did I stutter or something? I said no. You ain't getting one.
[Apparently he gets to decide that now. Ragna lets out an annoyed huff, crossing his arms on his chest. It's fairly obvious he's not enthusiastic about the idea; in fact, he's pretty determined not to let Mitsunari behind the wheel, both for the latter's sake and the safety of general public. But mostly to spare himself the headache.]
'Sides, you'd probably need a license for that. Y'know, a proof that you can drive? Which you can't, by the way.
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[ Mitsunari gives Ragna a completely unwarranted 'you're an idiot' look. ]
No one has ever in my life asked me for proof that I could ride a horse.
[ Absolutely flawless logic. Gold star for Mitsunari.
And anyway, how hard can driving be? Surely not at all difficult for Ishida Mitsunari, left hand of the Toyotomi.
Nothing about that title indicates an ability to operate a motor vehicle without killing people. ]
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I don't care how preppy you think that sounds, that's how things are! 'Sides, a horse just rides itself, so your argument's invalid.
[... Perhaps not the most stunning word choice, but he does have a point there. Even if he's never actually sat on a horse before. Or driven a car. How hard is it for Mitsunari to understand that this world full of things he doesn't know or understand operates under different rules and laws than he's used to? And people say he's stubborn, geez.]
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Those are the words of a man who has obviously never so much as laid eyes on a horse! To ride well takes practice and skill! I doubt you could even manage to keep yourself upright in the saddle.