punorama | Mitsunari in the fast food-land

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Mitsunari in the fast food-land

[After all this time of traveling between worlds that seem to have been stuck in Middle Ages, Ragna was beginning to suspect advanced technology was nothing more than a product of his imagination and/or fever dream he'd had at some point in his life. Sure, he'd never relied too much on crap like computers and smartphones and whatnot, but the rest of the world depended heavily on Ars Magus stuff, and even Sector Seven (which shunned Ars Magus usage) used electric technology far more developed than any place they have come across during their travels. What are the odds of his world being literally the only one out there that has managed to figure that shit out?

Finally, Ragna is proved wrong when the crew of the Katabami find themselves in a world far different from the ones they've visited so far. It's not quite the same as what Ragna is used to from his own world, but the busy streets of a city constantly illuminated by lights, shops and traffic feels at least somewhat familiar. Enough not to get lost or overwhelmed, at least. In fact, it's kinda fun not to feel like he's traveled back in time a few centuries for once. Maybe he can get some nice food he hasn't had for while? Or watch TV on the screens in the market. You know, appreciate the things that used to be so obvious he kind of didn't pay them any attention back then.

However, not all of them are used to this sort of environment, so whether he likes it or not, Ragna is now stuck on babysitting duty. Frankly, he's not too worried about Mitsunari ─ rather, he's worried about the unfortunate souls who happen to run into him and invoke his wrath by asking him to take a picture of them at the local landmark or something like that. So here he is, apparently resigning himself to damage control whatever goes wrong here ─ and let's be real, something definitely will.]

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[ Mitsunari is, as always, allergic to thanking people, so instead he makes a quiet sound of acknowledgement.

The soda's a surprise. Not knowing how straws work and not caring to find out, he just pulls the top off. Inside is a dark liquid, like tea, but it's fizzy. That's very unlike tea. He frowns at it suspiciously.

...Maybe he'll try it. It's not like he's obligated to just because Ragna bought it for him!

On to the food. It doesn't look like it's going to poison him, so he picks up a fry and gives it a taste.

It's... not bad? Warm, but not too hot. Saltier than anything he's ever eaten before, to be sure, but not overwhelmingly so. He eats it and tries another one. And then a third one. And a fourth. ]

I expected worse.

[ He doesn't want to say he likes them, but... ]

[Look, just seeing him eat something without too much complaining is quite shocking. Hearing Mitsunari express gratitude might have been more than Ragna's brain (limited as it is) could handle, so perhaps it's for the better that he hasn't gone out of the character.]

Coming from you, that's pretty much a praise.

[Ragna lets out an amused snort between the bites of his burger. That was almost a sign of approval. Must be a cold day in hell.]

[ Mitsunari's appetite may border on non-existent, but these fries are appealing all the same. They're different from what he's used to eating and simple enough that he can stomach them easily. They are, therefore, the ideal food.

He raises an eyebrow at Ragna. ]

"Praise" is an overstatement. And does it amuse you that I am capable of acknowledging when something exceeds my expectations?

[Food is one of the very few things left that Ragna sort of enjoys about life, so it baffles him why anyone would deny themselves that. On the other hand, he's used to Mitsunari being weird in many, many ways, and none of his oddities make much sense to him. It certainly doesn't bother him, though, as he's come to accept them as Mitsunari things that exist, no more and no less.

This one included.]

More like that you can't straight-up admit you like something.

[Pot, meeting kettle.]

[ Oh. That's. Actually true. He's not always the most self-aware man, but this is something he recognizes in himself.

And having it pointed out is frustrating, because he doesn't want to agree that this is the case. ]

You would do well to mind your own business.

[ Grumble, grumble, shoving another fry into his mouth now. ]

[Ragna has no reason to be happy about it, but calling Mitsunari out does feel like a "win", sort of, so there's still a certain aura of smugness surrounding him.]

Don't I always?

[Not even close, but that's a rhetorical question. He'll now go and nab one of Mitsunari's fries for himself because clearly he earned it.]

Not once in your life have you ever --

[ He just.

He stole a fry.

That bastard.

Mitsunari, who doesn't even like food all that much, pulls his fries closer to him protectively. ]

Hands to yourself!

[~~What hands─~~

Ragna pouts. He is the legendary SS-class criminal and that means he's got a reputation to uphold, even if that means being branded as a Fry Thief.]

Tight-ass.

[Technically speaking, he paid for them, so it's obvious all your fry are belong to him. But fine, he'll let him have them. After all, Mitsunari is a very possessive creature and can get aggressive when protecting his territory─ or was that something else? Well, it still applies.]

Petty thief.

[ Somehow, it's worse than being a non-petty thief. ]

If you want one so badly, ask my permission first or go without.

[ ...Could it be that he's not completely averse to the idea of sharing? ]

[It doesn't sound anywhere as cool as "the Grim Reaper", but at the same time, he's been called worse. He'll live.

That's a generous offer (... again, coming from Mitsunari), but Ragna still scowls at it, clearly not recognizing the honor he's been granted.]

I don't do that "asking for permission" crap.

[As Mitsunari is no doubt aware by now. It tends to be a problem.]

[ Mitsunari all but rolls his eyes. ]

And that is one of the many reasons why you are a nuisance. You aren't getting anywhere near my food, but you're free to take whatever's left in the garbage when I am finished.

Edited 2017-07-30 22:02 (UTC)

[Someone is taking the term "junk food" a bit too literally. Ragna gives him a displeased look, wondering how he manages to turn something as dumb as a goddamn fry into Serious Business™.]

Wooow. However am I gonna repay your kindness?

[All the sarcasm. Why are they hanging out together again?]

[ Everything is Serious Business when Mitsunari gets involved. ]

Refraining from taking anything that is mine would be a start.

[ A N Y T H I N G.

Mitsunari glances over at his untouched soda. He still doesn't know what it's supposed to be, but he's trying to make an effort to try new things because that's supposed to improve the quality of your life, or... something.

He takes a sip. ]

...It burns going down. Is this alcohol?

[You know what, while he doesn't concern himself a thief (let alone petty), that comment makes Ragna really tempted to take something of his in the near future just to screw around with him. Gotta keep that in mind.

He raises an eyebrow at Mitsunari's question. That's one hell of an odd assumption, and he'd probably never arrive at that conclusion himself. Is it because the sensation is kinda similar to, say, champagne and stuff?]

What? No. It just...

[Actually, what is it that makes soda like that? It was carbon... something ot the other. Gas for sure, but who cares about the details? Not Ragna.]

... has bubbles and shit.

[Thank you for the elaborate explanation, Professor Bloodedge.]

[ ~~Joke's on you Ragna, Mitsun has like zero personal possessions.~~

Ragna's response earns a very dead look from Mitsunari. ]

...I cannot fathom a more useless response than the one you just gave to me. It has bubbles. Of course.

[~~Sword. Clothes. Fries. That's more than enough to choose from.~~

Ragna shoots him an equally unimpressed look as he takes a sip of his milkshake. Through a straw. Like a Civilized Person that he is.]

Well excuuuse me. Never said I was a specialist on soda and crap. What else do you wanna know, anyway? It has bubbles. It also has more sugar in it than you can probably imagine. And it could melt bones if you left 'em in it long enough.

[He maaay be exaggerating a little, but hey. It's informative!! Sort of.]

Melt...

[ Mitsunari suddenly stares down at his soda like it's really a cup of acid. With ice! ]

Ragna, what the hell kind of poison did you give me!?

[Ragna doesn't seem to fully comprehend Mitsunari's outrage, but he sure finds it hilarious. Not worth any reaction beyond shrugging it off, though.]

Chill. People drink it all the time and live.

[He probably thinks that sounds reassuring.]

[ Okay, Ragna's not trying to poison him, but he's not touching that drink a second time. ]

Careless people! Who's to say what it does when consumed in large quantities? Burn holes in their stomachs? Don't serve me such a thing again.

[Who knew Mitsunari would turn out to be such a health freak? Sure thing, he's got a point there, but there's no need to be so drastic about it.]

Don't be such a drama queen. It's just a drink.

[But since it doesn't look like he'll be touching that anytime soon... Ragna grabs the soda from him, sticks a straw in it and takes a sip himself. It would be a waste to just leave it, no?]

[ Should... he stop him? It may not be immediately dangerous to drink, but... Ugh, stupid Ragna! ]

How can you bring yourself to ingest that?

[ He's so disconcerted that he forgot to be angry that it was stolen. ]

[Ragna raises an eyebrow at him, wondering just how deadly Mitsunari thinks soda truly is. "More than it really is" seems to be the answer.

But that's not the only surprising thing about that statement, he realizes. Is he like... concerned or some shit? Ragna stirs in his seat, uncomfortable at the thought; some time ago he would have said it's impossible for Mitsunari to worry about him, but knows better now (even if he doesn't necessarily like it). He frowns, almost wishing the other man freaked out over him being a Soda Thief this time, but decides to keep his tone casual as he replies.]

Y'know what they say... what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and all that.

[It's not even remotely close to the truth when it comes to soda, but eh. Who cares about details.]

[ Mitsunari stares down at his fries. He doesn't know if he's ever heard that saying before. For all he knows, Ragna made it up just now. ]

What a foolish saying. It couldn't be further from the truth.

[Ragna can tell Mitsunari is skeptical, even though it's one time he's not pulling this shit out of his ass as he speaks. Talk about irony.]

It's worked out for me.

[He glances down at his right arm, immediately realizing it's not exactly right; the Azure Grimoire will eventually kill him. But until then, it's made him stronger, so... close enough, right?]

Has it.

[ Still very dubious of this claim, Mitsunari takes a bite out of another fry. These really are pretty good... ]

I would say... What doesn't kill you may as well have.

[ But like Ragna, he realizes after saying it that it's not quite true either. He's doing so much better than he used to be, isn't he? ]

No... it makes one believe that to be true.

[ Of course, he's talking about himself. ]

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