punorama | open rp post

[This new world the crew of the Katabami has happened upon is a quiet and empty one. It certainly hadn't always been this way, though, since a short exploration would reveal the ruins of a small, deserted town that must have been quite a cozy place in the time of its glory. Right now it's a fairly depressing place ─ in fact, one could probably call it a ghost town, though for what's it worth there aren't any actual ghosts around. Thankfully.

Ragna isn't looking for anything in particular (least of all treasure or traces of the lost civilization, as some might), so motivated by pure boredom, he enters a tall building made of stone through a giant hole in its wall. A "hole" might not be an accurate description, though, as most of that wall is completely gone. Given the interior design (or what's left of it), it doesn't take a genius to figure out it must have been temple of some sort in the past. The Grim Reaper has no clue what it might have been dedicated to, considering the remains of figures and paintings don't look like anything he's familiar with, but the rows of benches leading to some altar-like structure paint a rather obvious picture.

Overall, this place seems to be almost eerily fitting Ragna's broody mood. Since he apparently gets those sometimes, too. The man sits on a front bench, letting out a heavy sigh.]

... Hey, Sister. Think I'm doing the right thing?

[The answer won't be coming, of course; he knows as much, but sometimes even he needs to get stuff off his chest before it explodes.]

Edited 2016-12-18 23:27 (UTC)

[ It is by pure chance that Mitsunari is passing by the temple as Ragna poses his question, altering him to the fact that Ragna is inside. He stops when he hears the other man's voice and then soon after finds himself walking into the temple himself. He's curious, admittedly, both as to who Ragna's talking to and as to why Ragna would ask such a thing in the first place. He's never heard him voice a doubt like that before.

When Mitsunari steps inside, he can see clearly that Ragna and himself are the only two people inside.

You realize you're talking to thin air, he wants to say, but on second thought, it's not like he's never before asked for guidance from someone who's not present in the flesh... And that, to his surprise, invokes some empathy in him.

What an odd feeling empathy is. It always manifests as some kind of unwanted ache. ]

Who's this "Sister" you seek counsel from?

[Lost in his thoughts, Ragna doesn't even notice Mitsunari's arrival until the man speaks up. It startles him a little, though the sight of an ally is met with relief ─ and immediately, the Grim Reaper has to wonder where the hell the feeling came from, considering he didn't exactly seek company. He frowns, his contemplative mood overshadowed by the usual grumpiness.]

Who said I'm lookin' for anything, dumbass?

[It might be too late to deny it now, but being a stubborn dummy that he is, Ragna doesn't like the idea of being seen as someone who needs any sort of advice, least of all from those long departed.]

Don'tcha know it's rude to eavesdrop on people?

[Says an expert on politeness and tact.]

As if I would ever waste my manners on you.

[ This is off to a fantastic start. But Mitsunari doesn't let his irritation get in the way of his initial curiosity. ]

It's unlike you to question your ways. What brings on your moral quandary?

[ Mitsunari kind of wishes he's taken the time to question his path, his convictions and motivations, before he put Ieyasu to the sword. ]

[Ragna is really close to pointing out Mitsunari doesn't seem to grace anyone with his manners (assuming he has any in the first place), except maybe for his Lord Something or Another, but shockingly enough, he manages to hold his sarcasm back for once. Instead, he leans back in his seat, raising his eyebrow at the question. This sudden interest in him is certainly an unexpected development and he's unsure how to feel about it.]

... I'm surprised you care.

[Okay, so he's partially just avoiding giving him a straight answer, but for what it's worth, the sentiment is genuine. He wouldn't have guessed his "moral quatever" as Mitsunari's calling it would be of any importance to the other man.

But what's even more surprising is that his first instinct isn't to yell at him, turn around and leave. That's certainly a first.]

Were it only that I could prevent myself from giving a damn about whatever is on your mind...

[ But here he is. Giving a damn.

After all this time, it's nigh impossible not to care about Ragna in some fashion. For all the frustration he's brought, he's an ally, and the rare sort of person who truly understands what it's like to be alone. He wouldn't call them friends, but the levels of hostility he once felt towards Ragna are no longer there, replaced by a sort of begrudging investment in Ragna's existence.

People don't get to decide whether or not they're going to care about someone. It just happens. ]

Now answer my question.

[ No getting away from it, Ragna. ]

[That's... surprisingly kind of him. Not the way he puts it, obviously, but Mitsunari still admitted to feel some sort of... concern (???) for him, which leaves Ragna momentary speechless. It's not like he's touched or some shit, it's just a damn awkward position to be in. Finally, the man lets out a resigned sigh, scratching the back of his head.]

I ain't gonna answer your questions just 'cause you want me to.

[Just so their clear on that, he has no intention of submitting to anyone's ridiculous interrogation; however, he will answer it of his own accord. He doesn't like talking about himself or his past any more than he'd used to, but Mitsunari deserves as much as an ally that Ragna truly appreciates, even if he may not say as much.

So where does he even start with that?]

... Sister, she... she's an old nun who raised me.

[The Grim Reaper admits slowly with a thoughtful expression.]

[ Based on that first comment, Mitsunari is close to turning around and leaving, since it was obviously a waste of time for him to bother asking. But it just as soon shows he shouldn't be as hasty as he always is. Ragna is willing to answer. To open up. To him. Even if it's only a sentence, a little fragment of information, it's more than he could have ever reasonably expected him to offer given their history. ]

Not your birth mother.

[ Said quietly, but loud enough for Ragna to hear. Are they alike in this sense, too? In not having blood relatives they can call family? ]

Why?

[To be perfectly honest, Ragna is just as taken aback by this turn of events as Mitsunari is. After all, he's never felt the need to confide in anyone (least of all this guy). The thought alone is laughable and he sincerely hopes his life never reaches that level of soap opera.]

Why...?

[He repeats the question, confused, until he finally makes the connection between that and Mitsunari's misguided assumption Ragna has ever had a "birth mother" in the first place. Not that it's an unreasonable conclusion.]

Guess we just didn't have anywhere else to go.

[He shrugs lightly, which suggests he doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Sure, back when he had been brought to the church for the first time he didn't like it very much, but it would soon turn out to be the only place he'd ever consider "home".]

[ We. Friends? Siblings? Hm.

Ragna was raised by someone who... took him and these others in when they had no where else to turn to? Ragna may shrug about it, but is that not just like Hideyoshi taking him in? It isn't as if Mitsunari had anywhere to go himself, useless street-urchin that he was. ]

So she took pity on you. ...Or she saw in you something more. Potential.

[ Something worth preserving. That same something that must have lead Hideyoshi to take in the weak child Mitsunari was.

There are other reasons to take children in, such as the kindness of your heart, but Mitsunari doesn't really "get" a motivation like that. ]

[Ragna gives him a look. He can see where Mitsunari is coming from, considering his own faith in humanity is questionable at best, but even he knows there are people out there selfless enough to do things like that. Hell, they've got Motochika as a living proof for it. The Grim Reaper doesn't necessarily consider it a good thing for those people, but... he can't deny their existence.]

Neither, I think.

[Sure, these days he tends to assume every person who dares to offer him their kindness is either pitying him or has an ulterior motive. But Sister wasn't like that; she never looked down on people, nor did she have any expectations or demands. She just wanted to give the three little kids　love and safety they had never had ─ without ever asking for anything in return.]

She would've helped anyone who needed it... 's just the way she was.

[He says with a faint smile on his face. The old hag could be a little overbearing with her concern (or at least that's how he saw it at the time), but the siblings couldn't have asked for a better caretaker.]

To live that way is to tempt fate...

[ Someone so selfless would be betrayed in a heartbeat.

Ragna is smiling, he notices. That's a rare expression. It's beyond clear this "Sister" meant a great deal to him. Mitsunari thinks back on the time with the mechanical birds and he wonders...

Back to the initial matter, though. ]

Why is it you ask her if you are "doing the right thing"? You have done many things I deem objectionable but never before now have I seen you question them.

[ Of course, even he knows Ragna can't be thinking about his slights against Hideyoshi. Those will probably never end. ]

[Ragna doesn't comment on it, but he agrees with that statement; sooner or later, someone is bound to take advantage of a person's kindness. It's certainly a risky life philosophy.

He doesn't answer the question, either. Instead, he stands up and begins to pace slowly around the room, giving himself a little time to gather his thoughts. Of course, he doesn't give a damn whether Mitsunari approves of his actions or not ─ and truth to be told, Sister's (hypothetical) opinion isn't that much higher on his list. In the past years, he's done tons of things she would've disagreed with. Surely it would've hurt her to see Ragna grow into the world's worst criminal or kill hundreds of people... and she'd hate that he and his little sibling got involved in a life and death battle against one another.]

... Hey.

[He stops abruptly, turning back to Mitsunari.]

You said you wanted to avenge your Lord, right?

[He probably said so repeatedly, but Ragna hadn't been paying attention to it until he noticed they actually do have something in common. No, he probably still hasn't bothered memorizing Hideyoshi's name, but that's irrelevant to the conversation on hand.]

[ Mitsunari is puzzled by this response. A straightforward person like him likes straightforward answers. He doesn't see how this connects to his question. If he were a bit cleverer, he might piece some things together. ]

How does this relate to -- [ Ugh, whatever. ] I believe I made that desire abundantly clear.

[ He pauses. Then he clenches both fists, staring fixedly at the ground. ]

I wanted to... And I sought my vengeance when given the chance...

[ Yet, he doesn't seem happy about it. ]

[As much as he likes straightforward answers to his own questions, Ragna doesn't seem to apply that logic to himself. Hell, he might try to make himself more clear if he had any idea what he's even trying to say here. Or why he's even bothering telling him all this...

The Grim Reaper does notice Mitsunari isn't particularly enthusiastic about the topic. Well, it'd be weird to see him enthusiastic about anything, but ─ he'd expect him to be at least moderately satisfied if he succeeded in avenging that beloved Lord of his.

... Aw, hell. Neither of them likes beating around the bush, so he may very well get straight to the point. If there's something troubling Mitsunari, Ragna will likely hear about it soon enough anyway, whether he likes it or not.]

Let's say you gotta choose between getting your revenge and your own happiness. Which one do you pick?

[He almost cringes saying that. "Your own happiness"? What the fuck does that even mean? And yet that's that might be the best way of explaining what's on his mind...]

[ Mitsunari doesn't quite understand the question. Why are they mutually exclusive? Wouldn't getting revenge bring you your happiness? You can have your cake and eat it too.

He has to consider his own situation only for a moment before he understands the error in his line of thinking. ]

If my revenge is just... I would pursue it at any expense. No matter the misfortunes that should befall me.

If it is not... it would be happiness I seek. ...Peace of mind.

"Just".

[Ragna repeats the word with a scoff. That's a non-answer if he's ever heard one, even if it's not necessarily untrue. Who gets to decide what's "just" and what isn't? Is there really such thing as an objective "right" to pursue revenge or lack thereof? Who can make that call, and on what grounds?

But as generic as his response is, Mitsunari is not wrong. To seek vengeance at any cost... or to settle for a peaceful life. No matter who he asks, in the end the choice is his to make. Hell, he wouldn't have it any other way.]

That's a lot like you.

[He doesn't specify whether it's a good thing or not; who is he to judge that? Regardless, Ragna decides to finally address the other man's original question:]

I guess... you could say I was asking myself the same thing.

[ Mitsunari has always thought himself to be something of an arbiter of justice. His faith in his own moral compass is not absolute, not after Sekigahara, but it runs deeply all the same.

Mitsunari is content to hear "That's a lot like you". Why would he want to sound like anyone other than himself? (Except, perhaps, for the lords he cannot fully emulate, no matter how he may try.)

At any rate, he's glad Ragna finally answered his damn question. ]

Why do you seek vengeance?

[ If he understands the situation... maybe he can help Ragna come to a conclusion of his own, if he hasn't already found one.

He's not sure that train of thought sounds like him. He's changed, little by little. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It depends. Is he becoming a person Lord Hideyoshi could be proud of?

He honestly doesn't know. ]

[For all the similarities they have discovered between them, there's one trait they certainly don't share ─ namely, the willingness to talk about their past. Mitsunari would likely talk about that to anyone who's willing to listen (and those who aren't too, probably). Ragna firmly believes his reasons are his own and sees no reason to share them with anyone. After all, doing so would only bring the pain back instead of relieving him of it.

But perhaps that's what he needs to find his answer. Perhaps there are times when saying what he's been holding in for so long out loud could do him some good. Perhaps that time is now.

For once he doesn't make things difficult, his answer being as straightforward as can be.]

... Yuuki Terumi.

[Just saying the man's name manages to reignite the flames of anger and hatred in Ragna's chest. They've never quite died down, not even after the years spent away from his world; they never will, he thinks, at least not as long as Terumi is alive.]

That bastard took everything away from me. My home, my arm, my family... All of it.

[He clenches his fists as he speaks, the memories of that day doing little to help him keep his composure. The images in his head are so painfully vivid he could swear it happened a few days ago at most. Together with those come grief and the sense of helplessness, both of which only grow stronger as he realizes how long it's actually been since then ─ and how, despite that, he's yet to get his revenge.]

[ Mitsunari never thought the day would come that he could put himself so easily in Ragna's shoes. That bastard took everything away from me. Isn't that what he thought to himself countless times about Ieyasu? That monster, killing the person who meant more to Mitsunari than anyone else, destroying the bond that held them together, stealing away all vibrancy and meaning the world once held.

Leaving him empty save for his hate.

He can hear it in Ragna's voice: he's hateful too.

Mitsunari does wonder -- if Ragna lost his arm, just what was it replaced with? Is it the arm that possesses such incredible dark power? Something to do with that Azure... dammit, what was it?

No matter. He'll save that line of questioning for later.

What is this he feels? This... anger on Ragna's behalf?

(Ieyasu would say, "You've formed a bond, Mitsunari. It's a good thing.")

He tells his imagination to stuff it. ]

...Make him suffer to the very extent you have. You have every right. Rob him of his limbs one by one until he begs for mercy, and grant him none.

[Just as he expected, Ragna does not experience any sort of catharsis simply because he's confined in someone. His heart doesn't grow any lighter, and the hateful fire in his chest burns as strongly as ever. The burden on his shoulders is just as heavy, even though he'd deny its existence anyway. Overall, it's not a life-changing moment.

And yet Ragna feels something else; some weird, inexplicable sort of connection to the man in front of him, and as much as he'd like to think of it as not important, he really can't. Because he didn't mock or criticize Ragna's desire for revenge. Because he didn't preach that useless "forgive and forget" mantra. Because he acknowledged his right to do as he pleases.

Because Mitsunari, Ragna realizes, understands. His faith in human compassion may be low, but even he can tell that the other man knows exactly what he's talking about.

(There's a special kind of hell ─ one that's experienced in the living world ─ that can turn one into a vengeful spirit without them dying; what are the chances of two of those meeting?)]

I don't need you to tell me that.

[Not because he thinks what Mitsunari said was dumb or redundant; he does appreciate the support he's being shown, even if he doesn't think he needs the validation.

Still, it's nice to see they can agree on something now and then.]

I'm gonna find and kill him. Anyone who stands in my way, too. That's why I got this power in the first place...

[He trails of, glancing down at his right hand ─ or rather, the Grimoire that had taken its place on that ill-fated day. Never mistake the power of the Azure for yer own, his Master told him time and time again. But what's the point of holding such power if you can't use it? After all, if being its host is gonna kill him anyway, then he should at the very least be able to do what he wants with it. And Ragna wants nothing more than to see Terumi's pathetic, bloodied form drawing his last breath at his feet.

Even if it means abandoning the comfortable life he's found on board of the Katabami.

... Right?]

[ That strange power Ragna refused to tell him how to find. Was he truly granted it so that he could obtain his vengeance? If Mitsunari still wanted revenge, he'd be envious. Granted, he is envious now, but for a different reason: he wants that level of strength for the sake of being able to protect what he cares about.

He is going to demand more details from Ragna yet again when something strikes him like a lightning bolt.

The question posed to Mitsunari was happiness or vengeance.

He understands why Ragna wants revenge, but what is his happiness? Is it, perhaps, the life he's made for himself aboard the Katabami? His allies and his romantic involvement with Motochika? Which means... ]

...Imbecile... Why does killing Yuuki Terumi mean forsaking your happiness? If you truly care for Motochika and the Katabami as a whole, you will not strike out on your own in your quest to take this man's head.

Edited (redundancy also i fucked up my edit) 2017-02-21 10:02 (UTC)

[To be fair, Ragna can't tell for sure if that's the true reason he got his Grimoire, but that's what he chooses to believe. After all, it was what saved him and allowed him to live on ─ and what purpose would that have other than allowing him a chance to pay Terumi back for ruining his life?

The Grim Reaper is so deep in his thoughts, Mitsunari's words catch him completely off guard and he stares at him wide-eyed.]

Wha─

[Ragna couldn't hide his surprise if he tried. Is he really this obvious? ... Or is it because Mitsunari understands him way better than he thought?

Whichever is the case, Ragna finds himself struggling to come up with an answer. He grits his teeth, looking away from the other man in an attempt to hide his discomfort with how easily he saw through him. It occurs to him he should just deny it and cut this conversation short, but it might be a little too late for that. Besides, he doubts he could convince Mitsunari right now.]

... It's not that simple.

[It really shouldn't be this complicated; of course he cares about Motochika and their crew and of course he'd like to stay with them. On the other hand, he couldn't possibly forgive himself if he just gave up on his revenge after everything he's done to achieve it... Not to mention he can't leave the matter of his little siblings unresolved; it's his responsibility as their older brother.

So no, as far as Ragna is concerned, you can't have a cake and eat it too.]

Why?

[ But rather than take the time to hear him out, Mitsunari segues immediately into a rant. ]

Listen, and listen well. Throughout my campaign against Ieyasu, I lost many potential allies, all of them wooed to his side, one by one. I hated it. Yet here you are, willing to abandon the only allies you have! If I were in your position, I would not be so ungrateful!

[Perhaps it's for the better that Mitsunari doesn't wait for an explanation, because Ragna might not have been able to give him any; however, that little rant seems to strike a chord, as the Grim Reaper frowns and looks ready to snap back at him in response.]

You think I want to leave?!

[Ragna knew the day would come when he'd have to abandon his crew; it's been obvious since the very beginning, which is why he was trying so desperately not to get attached to them. That plan failed miserably, of course, and his commitment is now backfiring terribly. He wants to both stay with his crew and keep them safe ─ the two of which are mutually exclusive, especially if Ragna's pursuit of revenge comes into the picture.

And if trying to protect people he holds dear makes him an ungrateful asshole, then so be it.]

That fight is mine and mine alone. I'm not gonna get anyone else dragged into my shit.

for Ruto

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A MILLION YEARS LATER

BUT NEVER TOO LATE

sobs at my speed

shhhh I'm not going anywhere

;w;

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